A Tale of Two Freaking Families
by RedInfernoXtra
Summary: This is it! The first crossover fanfic staring two famous families, Simpsons and Griffins!
1. Homer Main's Rival

Once upon a time in some galaxy whatever around space whatsoever, everything was quite most of the time, because there was no noise, no annoying characters and no aliens. OMG, a spaceship's on fire, holy cow! Someone's in danger, the one's piloting a damaged spaceship is no other than Roger the Alien from American Dad. "OMG, we're about to crash towards a random planet I don't know what's its name it!" screamed Roger pointing at the moon. "Oh boy, we're going to have a nice picnic at the moon," said Roger's mom giggling while packing up the picnic basket. "Angelica, this moon is made of rocks, not cheese!" reported Roger's dad Thomson. "This is worse than the time I saw two black guys communicating with each other using music!" whined Roger.

**Cutaway joke**

Two black guys bumped towards each other while the first one offers to the other one to get up, "Are you OK?" asked the black man. "Yeah, I'm all right. Say, what's your name?" asked the other one. The black guy plays his saxophone to communicate, "I'm Jazz-Mine!" said the saxophone with a female's voice and "I'm Beat!" said the drum in a male's voice.

**End of cutaway joke**

Roger and his family begin screaming when they're about to hit the moon causing them to fall down like meteors and arriving on Planet Earth. Roger and his family got up and started wondering where they are, "Where are we?" asked Roger's mom looking left and right. "I don't know," said his dad tilting his cap as Groundskeeper Willie walks by and reacts in a silly way that he see three aliens, "Look what I found!" cried Willie, "I see three aliens at Springfield!" "Springfield!" gasped Roger feeling shocked, "We're in a world of yellow guys like these guys!" Then a limo arrives with Mr Smithers getting out first then he rushes off to open the door to let Mr Burns out. "Well," said Mr Burns happily, "We never seen real aliens before, not like those two greens one." "I thereby give you money for these three," requested Mr Burns as Willie gets excited about this, "Deal!" Willie trades in Roger and his family for cash and rushes back using his tractor, "Willie's rich!"

**At the Kwik-E-Mart**

Homer enters the Kwik-E-Mart. "Hey Apu!" greeted Homer Simpson. "Hello Mr Simpson," greeted Apu praying. "You got any doughnut boxes around here because I'm really hungry and I didn't have any breakfast or lunch," said Homer frowning. "I am very sorry Mr Simpson, but that pink chubby nerd took all the doughnut boxes before you came here," apologised Apu. "Why that little, Gah!" shouted Homer rushing out of the Kwik-E-Mart to find the doughnut pig, then he hears the car starting as Homer quickly looks at the red car and chases after it. Meanwhile Bart Simpson is late for school reminding Homer to pay Principle Seymour Skinner a $60 fine, "Pay the fine, Dad!" "Never mind, Bart!" rejected Homer, "We got a task to do, stop the pink guy!" Homer and Bart went back to their house to get their car ready to chase after the red car.

**To the red car**

Inside the red car, a pink fat guy named Peter Griffin laughed stupidly awful with a white dog named Brian Griffin ignored him reading newspapers. "Why did you buy so many doughnut boxes?" asked Brian. "I'm giving these boxes away to feed my team!" said Peter, "And yes I did pay for these boxes." Just then Homer's pink car bumps onto Peter's car causing him to get pissed off with Homer. "Brian drive the car, I'll deal with this yellow retard!" ordered Peter Griffin so Brian did as Peter told him while Peter gets onto Homer's car breaking the windows using his fists getting prepared to beat up Homer Simpson. Homer strangles Peter by his neck, Peter bites Homer's arm causing him to scream. "What the hell?" yelped Homer, but Bart points at the Police Station, "Dad, look out!" yelled Bart as the four get out of their cars while they crashed onto the police station. Peter and Homer looked at each other and continued fighting from there, and then the police cars arrive to arrest the two be sent to Quahog Prison. "You're both under arrest!" yelled Joe Swanson. Peter looks at Joe, "Joe, what the hell? I'm your best friend!" yelped Peter. "I don't care if you're my best friend, Peter! I'm doing what's right for me!" said Joe as he takes the two to prison. "This is your fault!" muttered Homer to Peter.

**To jail**

Peter and Homer are cross with other that they put each other into jail and discovered a big rivalry between the two. "I'll be dealing with you just like the time I knocked the blue porcupine," scolded Peter grasping his fist towards Homer.

**Cutaway joke**

Peter places a chilli dog onto the big mouse trap waiting for his target, "Come on," demanded Peter as Sonic the Hedgehog comes in feeling happy that there is a chilli dog provided, "Oh boy, chilli dog here I come!" said Sonic trying to collect his chilli dog, but then his foot hand was caught in the mouse trap which makes Sonic scream as Peter jumps out of the bush brutally attacking on Sonic the Hedgehog continuously until he's dead. Peter reports, "Sonic is dead, come collect him at Station Square!" "Roger that, Peter!" responded Stan Smith from American Dad, "I'm sending you to the lab, rodent!" said Stan looking at a dead Sonic.

**End of cutaway joke**

"Your cutaway jokes suck!" jeered Homer blowing a raspberry, "You're making your jokes look irrelevant and all you have are pathetic toilet humour!" "At least I'm trying to funny!" shouted Peter. Just then Joe opens both their cells and tells them that they're doing community service. Joe whispers to Peter's ear, "I'm going to get you out of here."

**Outside**

Homer and Peter still wearing their prison outfits, but Peter takes the advantage by calling Joe saying, "Joe, I'm done! Can I go home now?" Homer gets annoyed with Peter Griffin, "Hey you can't do that!" bellowed Homer while Peter and Joe both smile at each other, "Yellow man, you got lots of trash to be picking up. Now start working!" shouted Joe Swanson as Homer responded by saying, "Doh!" "This would be perfect for an Internet meme," chuckled Peter using his mobile phone to record Homer's catchphrase.

With that Lois picks up Peter and they all go home with Lois asking to her husband, "So Peter, did you make any new friends?" Peter replies to Lois, "No, but I've got a new rival!" "Oh boy, who's your new rival?" asked Chris Griffin. "Oh let's just say I met a yellow man," said Peter smiling. "I think that fat father of mine just met one of the Simpsons members," said Stewie talking to the viewers as he's referring to Homer Simpson.

**To the Griffin house**

"You're WHAT?!" bellowed Lois. "I got expelled because I created a slingshot to fire a rock at my teacher, isn't that awesome?" said Chris as his father rubs his hair, "That's my boy!" "Peter!" shouted Lois and then she talks to Chris, "You are in big trouble and you're banned from watching TV for a whole year!" Chris throws a temper tantrum but Lois didn't care, "You're also not having any doughnuts at all, go to your room!" Chris stomps into his room shouting and screaming. "Peter how did you but a lot of doughnut boxes because we don't see them in our store?" asked Lois. "Brian and I went to Springfield to buy something to eat for us and our friends like going to the Kwik-E-Mart," answered Peter. "You better not use my warp machine," muttered Stewie as he's working on more things. "Hey!" yelled Homer knocking on the Griffin's house door. "I wonder who that could be," said Lois getting out of the door and opening it to reveal Homer Simpson. "I'd like a word with that guy!" demanded Homer pointing at Peter. Peter gets up and talks with Homer, "What do you want?" "Doughnuts!" said Homer happily and so did Peter, "Then why didn't you say so?" Peter said happily, "come in and we'll talk about it!"

Everyone is eating doughnuts except for Chris who was punished by his mother for school issues. "Say Homer, tell us where you live," said Peter as Homer happily answers, "I live in 742 Evergreen Terrace Springfield," said Homer. Peter quickly types in Homer's address so he can go see the rest of the Simpsons family and Lois asks him a question, "Who lives with you?" "Well there's my wife Marge, I got Bart, Lisa and Maggie," said Homer counting his fingers. Peter introduces Homer to his family, "I'd like you to meet my wife Lois, my daughter Meg and my son Chris is upstairs in his room so if you like to see him go nuts. My baby, Stewie and that's our dog Brian." "Nice to meet you, Homer," greeted Brian as Homer is shocked, "OMG, did that dog just talk?" Just then the Simpson family come in with Marge hugging her husband that he's safe and she turns to the Griffin family and says, "We're Homer's family!" "Say Homer, you want to go out with me to the Drunken Clam?" requested Peter. "Will I?" said Homer, "Of course I'll go!" "Great," smiled Peter, "I'll get my pals and they'll meet you there, bye Lois!" "Take care, Peter!" cried Lois waving goodbye to her husband, "You too, Homer!" cried Marge waving to Homer.

**To the Drunken Clam**

Homer and Peter went to the Drunken Clam where they meet Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire waiting for them. "Hey Peter!" greeted Quagmire, "who's the yellow guy?" "My name is Homer J Simpson, good to see you," smiled Homer shaking hands with Quagmire, "Now let's all enjoy a nice drink of beer." Peter and the others enter the Drunken Clam where they meet Horace the Bartender, but Homer asks a question, "Do you sell Duff Beer?" "Nope," said Horace, "We got Pawtucket Patriot Ale, want some?" "Hey, I wanted Duff!" wailed Homer, "but I can try drinking this." Peter paid for the drinks while Homer decides to taste the beer the Drunken Clam has to offer and for some reason, Homer didn't any excitement form this. "Duff is WAY better than you crappy drink, Pinkie!" Homer yelled at Peter throwing a chair at him while Peter suddenly gets pissed with him again when he begins fighting back at Homer. Quagmire chanted, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

**To the Channel 5 News**

That's when Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons are on Channel 5 News, "Hello I'm Tom Tucker!" he introduced himself. "And I'm Diane Simmons," she introduced herself, "and we now go live to Ollie Williams to see what's going on at the Drunken Clam. Ollie, what's going on there?" Ollie Williams is now seen at the Drunken Clam saying things out loud, "It's a fight!" Tom Tucker asks Ollie, "Who's fighting?" Ollie says, "Peter!" Diane asks him, "And who's the other guy?" Ollie says, "It's a yellow man!"

**To the Griffins house**

Marge Simpson gasps that Homer is fighting Homer and Lois feels the same, "Our husbands, they'll pay for this!" cried Lois as both her and Marge get onto the car to get their husbands.

**To the Drunken Clam**

Homer and Peter Griffin are still fighting at the Drunken Clam as their wives are very furious at their husbands, "Peter, you're in big trouble!" yelled Lois. "Homer, you're banned from eating doughnuts and you're in big trouble like that pink guy!" shouted Marge, but the Rich Texan rejects the words the wives say and offers both Peter and Homer to compete against each other for a Fat Guy Tournament at the Springfield Stadium.

"You're going down, Griffin. Or should I say Goggle Eyes!" bawled Homer showing off a loser sign at Peter's face which is making Peter feel more pissed towards him, "All right, lemonade! I accept your challenge!" Peter begins shaking hands with Homer.

**To the Springfield Stadium**

"Ladies and gentlemen," cried a voice, "The moment that you've all been waiting for, this match is the Fat Guy Tournament held at this place and introducing me, Duff Man!" Everyone cheers for the Duff Man. "I love you, Duff Man!" cried a woman. Duff Man waves to the audience and gives kisses especially towards the girls, "Here are the contestants!" The contestants were Homer, Peter, Cleveland Brown, Nelson, Ollie Williams, the Comic Book Guy, Barney and the Giant Chicken. "Why that retarded chicken," grumbled Peter glaring at the chicken.

The battle begins Homer and the Comic Book Guy is about to begin when Homer wins this battle and so did Barney, Peter and the Chicken.

"Homer vs. The Chicken!" announced Duff Man as both Homer and Ernie the Chicken enter the ring for the semi-finals. "I hope that lemonade beats that chicken, because I'm glad I not facing him," Peter said to himself glaring towards Homer Simpson. Ernie pecks Homer on the head. "Ow!" squealed Homer, "that hurts!" So Homer kicks Ernie by the crotch and strangles him, "Why you chunky!" Homer slams Ernie down and finishes off by launching Ernie away.

**To Krusty Burger**

Roger's dad is seen making cheeseburgers really well, "This is the best job ever!" exclaimed Roger's dad and just then, Ernie flies towards the cooking oil inside here. "Aah!" screamed Ernie the Giant Chicken and then Krusty the Clown sees a giant chicken and takes it as an advantage. "Who wants to eat up the giant whole chicken?" shouted Krusty. "I do!" cried the customers. Ernie is dead.

**To the Springfield Stadium**

Peter defeated Barney and the finals are about to start as Homer and Peter both punching each other up. "You're dead, you piece of crap!" shouted Homer knocking out Peter's glasses, but Peter head-butts Homer by the stomach, "Take that, fat-ass!" roared Peter. "Smithers, who's this person?" asked Mr Burns. Waylon Smithers responds, "I believe that's Homer Simpson, sir." "Simpson, eh?" said Mr Burns looking at Homer, "Take all my money and take that person that my bet is on Homer!" Smithers did exactly as Burns told him to give all his bet on Homer Simpson.

Back to the fight, we see Peter Griffin punching Homer by his teeth. Homer stamps on his foot. Both got very exhausted but, Bart Simpson throws a can of Duff Beer to his father to finish of Peter Griffin. Homer drinks the beer and throws it at Quagmire's face and he gets prepared to destroy Peter once and for all by getting a steel chair and slams it towards his face. "Go, Dad!" encouraged Bart as he's cheering for his father. Homer body slams at Peter's face and he brings out a bottle of whipped cream and cherries and placed them onto Peter's head and bites him. Peter feels unhappy and quits making Homer Simpson the winner and he was reward $100 million dollars, "I'll spend it on the Power Plant!" roared Homer. "Thank you, Mr Simpson. With that prize money, I'll give you a very big promotion," Mr Burns said quietly.


	2. A Bland Day

To Peter's house Peter feels pissed off what Homer did to him yesterday. "That stupid lemonade is going to pay after defeating him the other day!" muttered Peter when Lois opens the door, but she felt disgusted of how smelly he is. "Go take a damn shower, fat-ass!" yelled Lois holding her nose while Peter rushes off to the showers to clean himself. To Stewie's room Stewie is planning how to take over the world so he goes to his time machine to get advice from other people so he teleports to the League of Villains.

**To the League of Villains**

Stewie Griffin arrives inside the League of Villains so he can hear all the other villains are saying. In this room, there were Jafar, Dr Eggman, Bowser, Scar, Metal Sonic, Mr Burns, Sideshow Bob, The Joker, Kingpin and of course Hugo. "What should we do to take over the world?" asked Bowser. "Well," said the Joker, "We're going to make people laugh using the laughing gas so that everybody will obey us." "I think not!" refused Eggman. "What is it, egghead?" said Bowser. "I think I should create robots to work at the Power Plant while Mr Burns fires every employee working for him," suggested Eggman. "But we do know that someone's spying on us!" shouted Mr Burns looking at Stewie by the window. "Crap!" bellowed Stewie as he runs away from the villains and escapes to another world.

**To a world of dogs**

"This must a universe where it's run by dogs," muttered Stewie. "What's a human like you doing here?" cried the Police Dog handcuffing Stewie, "You're the third human arrested!" Stewie is being dragged by the Police Dog; Brian is seen drinking a cup of tea. To prison "In you go!" cried the Police Dog pushing Stewie towards a cell where Bart and Lisa are. "Who the deuce are you two?" demanded Stewie, but Bart refuses by saying, "You should know this right now, pipsqueak!" Lisa tampers with her older brother, "Bart, he doesn't know us." Lisa introduces herself to Stewie, "I'm Lisa and this is my brother Bart." "More like Fart Simpson if you ask me," chucked Stewie, but then Brian comes in to collect the kids. "I'm here to collect these kids," requested Brian. "Well, Brian. If you want those kids back, you owe me money!" said the Police Dog. "What the hell's your deal?" barked Brian holding his fist. "You want a piece of me, you got it!" barked the Police Dog getting off his chair challenges Brian to a duel. Brian snatches a red pen and an eraser and he uses the red pen draws red lips on the police dog's mouth and rub his name from "Lucky" to "Lucy. "Damn you, my name's not Lucy!" roared the Police Dog hitting Brian by his teeth while Stewie tries to use the force to get the cell keys to get himself, Lisa and Bart out of here which gives a chance to escape after Brian defeated the Police Dog and arrive at a new universe. "Damn you!" screamed the Police Dog.

** To a universe of hot ladies**

Stewie, Lisa, Bart and Brian arrived at the universe of hot ladies. "Hey hey hey, you're one hotass chick! Aren't you?" flattered Stewie. "Oh my god, who's the talking pipsqueak?" asked the blond girl. Bart growls like a wolf, "Looks like these ladies will like to come over to my house." Brian smacks Bart by his ass, "I don't think so, kid!" snapped Brian, "You're only ten years old and these ladies are about their teen years like 15-17." Lisa quivers slightly, "This is embarrassing, can't we go back?" whined Lisa. "Quiet bitch, can't you see we're dancing?" said Stewie as he's dancing with Bart and Brian. Lisa gets to Stewie and swipes away his time warp to get to home taking Stewie, Brian and Bart with her.

**Back to Stewie's room**

The four knuckleheads went back to Stewie's room and Lisa complains, "All right, you trouble making shrews! Now I'm the boss so you have to go where ever I want to go!" "Take it easy, Lisa," confessed Brian. "I'm sure everyone can take turns." Lisa looks at Brian, "Did you just talk?" Brian says, "Eeh, yeah." Lisa shrikes with joy as she run downstairs to get Marge to remind her that Brian can talk. Lisa comes back upstairs with Marge. "What is it, honey?" asked Marge. "Hello, Mrs Simpson." Marge gasps, "The dog can talk!" "So what do you do in your life, Brain?" asked Lisa. Brain replies, "The thing is, I'm mostly an alcoholic dog that wastes his life dating random women and getting jobs and fail in all of them." Lisa acts tough on Brian and tells him to stop drinking and start getting more experience. The next day Brian is seen outside the house riding a bike, "This is amazing," said Brian, "I feel like if I'm a new person!" Quagmire is getting jaggy about raping some girls, "Giggity all right," said Quagmire, "time to get me some chicks!" Quagmire is running outside showing off his naked body towards random ladies. Brian comes and sees Quagmire feeling in embarrassment, "Quagmire, what the hell's your problem?" whined Brain. Joe arrests Quagmire for nudity and teaches him a lesson that paedophiles never get what they want. Brian has an idea on where's he going to work.

**Inside the Springfield Power Plant**

"Mr Simpson," said Mr Burns, "For winning the Springfield Fat Guy Tournament and decided to spend the money on the power plant, I'll promote you Employee for the Year!" Waylon Smithers comes in, "Mr Burns, I think you have a cute visitor." Brian is seen coming towards Mr Burns. "He's so cute," whispered Mr Burns, "all right, you're hired!" Brian smiles that he's hired. "Hey, dogs aren't allowed to get jobs!" moaned Homer.

**Inside the Griffin House**

"Guess who's cooking dinner, kids?" asked Peter, "Me!" "We're going to Krusty Burger and pretend these burgers are my homemade burgers!" "That's kind of a cheap method Dad, but OK!" said Meg. "Shut up, Meg!" snapped Peter. Meg turns her face to Lisa, "He always says that to me." Lisa shudders and agrees with what Meg said.

** Outside Springfield Power Plant**

There is a white chicken that looks like Ernie holding his knuckles.


End file.
